


ain't nobody love you like i do

by kissfortae



Category: EXO (Band), NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Happier, Loneliness, Lucas is a Little Shit, M/M, Mark is a little shit, Mentions of Cancer, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love, hyuck is a hoe for a hot minute, im projecting and don't know how to tag, im so sorry hyuck, is the best way, jaehyun is there but like not rlly, lucas is legit the best character and i adore him, major angst, renjun deserved better as well but oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:28:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24915364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissfortae/pseuds/kissfortae
Summary: Donghyuck learns and experiences all types of love throughout his life, thanks to three boys.//or Donghyuck has terrible timing but thanks to three boys named Jaemin, Renjun, & Mark, he learns how to fix it.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	1. i broke ur nintendo ds, but u broke my heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is based on the song happier by ed Sheeran. 
> 
> MAJOR ANGST. I put hyuck through a lot cuz im projecting sorry!!!
> 
> will try to update once a day!!!
> 
> pls leave comments and kudossss <#

“Walking down 29th and Park  
I saw you in another's arms  
Only a month we've been apart  
You look happier”

The first time Donghyuck experienced love was through a blonde haired boy that had the prettiest smile in the world.

Donghyuck met Jaemin when they were seven years old and he crashed his bike in front of Jaemin’s house. He scraped his knee and started crying from the stinging pain he felt, when Jaemin ran over, asking if he was okay. When Donghyuck only cried harder Jaemin ran into his house to grab a bunch of bandages, a wet cloth, and a popsicle. He fixed Donghyuck up and managed to make the older boy smile with guessing his favorite flavor of popsicles right away. After that, the two were attached at the hip, making their mom’s smile at the blooming friendship between them.

A month before their first day in middle school, Jaemin meets his new neighbor, Jeno. the sunshine boy, with the pretty smile, and allergies to pretty much everything. Jaemin starts inviting him everywhere on their hangouts, and out school shopping, and bike riding. Donghyuck doesn’t see what the big deal is about their couple months older friend, but he was nice to him regardless. Up until what Donghyuck calls ‘the incident’. 

It’s Jaemins birthday and he decides that being the best friend he is, he’s going to surprise Jaemin early in the morning with the gift he got him, (A nintendo 3DS, which he has been saving up all his allowance and birthday money for). Jaemin’s mom is the one to answer the door, telling Donghyuck that Jaemin had a sleepover with Jeno last night and that both boys are probably still asleep, but he can go on up anyways. 

He couldn’t describe the feeling he got when he found out Jaemin had a sleepover without him and didn’t even tell him (later his mom tells him it was jealousy), but he knew he was mad for some reason. Without knocking he peeks his head in to see if they were both still asleep but what he saw was far more interesting, and not in a good way. On Jaemin’s bed, on top of his cute anime and sushi themed sheets, were Jaemin and Jeno, holding hands, cuddling, while Jaemin pecked Jeno’s lips. 

Donghyuck released a loud shriek that had Jeno falling off the bed, and Jaemin hitting his head on the headboard. When both boys looked up at him, they had a mix of emotions written across their faces that Donghyuck tried to interpret. Jeno looked as terrified as the time they made him watch ‘The Exorcist’ at two am, mixed with a look of guilt, while Jaemin just looked nervous but also, hopeful? 

Donghyuck dropped Jaemin’s present on the ground, probably breaking it, not that he cared at that very moment in time, and sprinted down the hall and all the way outside. He knew Jaemin was following him and he felt the younger crash into his back when he finally stopped running. “Sometimes   
I forget you’re trying out for the track team, gosh you run fast” he complained. 

Donghyuck turned around to look at Jaemin with a face of disgust and horror, he couldn’t get the idea of his best friend kissing another boy, let alone Jeno, out of his head."I’m sorry you had to find out like that, I really didn’t want to keep it from you, but now you know. So what do you think?” Jaemin asked as he chuckled, a wide grin on his face, the one that always made Donghyuck feel bubbly. 

“What do I think about what? I don’t even know what that was? All I know is one minute I’m your best friend and the next, you’re lying, keeping secrets from me, and replacing me with Jeno!” Donghyuck shouted in the younger's face.

Jaemin looked shocked and hurt but it quickly changed to anger, “Not everything is about you Hyuck! I didn’t tell you because you’re so self involved that you fail to see that I’m not replacing you! You will always be my best friend! Jeno means something different to me and we haven’t figured it out yet and we probably won’t for a while, but It’s not the same Hyuck. Me and Jeno kiss sometimes and hold hands and he makes me feel all tingly and happy! You and me wrestle and play with Lulu together and I’ve never thought about you the same way I do Jeno-” 

Donghyuck cuts him off by saying something he never meant to begin with, he didn’t even know what it meant, but he says it anyway in the heat of the fight. “Good, I wouldn’t want a fag like you to think about me that way anyways. We were best friends but not anymore, cause I would never keep anything from you, and my dad says I can’t be friends with guys who like guys anyways, cause their fags. Don’t talk to me when school starts, bye.” Donghyuck said cockily, as he stormed off back to his own house.

He never meant a single word of it and thought it was just a fight like usual, that Jaemin would come up to him when school started and apologize and they would be the best of friends again. He was proved wrong though as school started and Jaemin avoided him everywhere along with Jeno, both boys wouldn’t even look him in the eyes. Almost a month had passed since the fight, when Donghyuck finally realized he was wrong and ready to apologize. 

He decided to go see the new ‘Transformers’ movie before going over to Jaemin’s house to apologize. When he finally got to the theater though, he saw Jaemin and Jeno ahead of him in line. They had their hands intertwined and were giggling and whispering to each other. He saw Jaemins face for a spilt second but the huge smile he held and the sparkle in his eyes was enough for Donghyuck to leave and just go home. 

Jaemin was smiling at Jeno the way Donghyuck had always wished he would smile at him. Jaemin was pretty if he really thought about him, but when he smiled, he was breathtaking. Something about the genuine emotion he held as he smiled at Jeno made Donghyuck realize what love was for the first time in his life. Jaemin loved Jeno. And that’s the reason Donghyuck got so worked up and made Jaemin hate him. Not because he felt betrayed by his best friend, but because he felt betrayed by his own heart, for beating so loudly for Jaemin. He never hated either of them, he was just plain jealous.

Jaemin had always been happier with Jeno, they loved each other in a way that Donghyuck was just learning about and experiencing. 

Donghyuck first learned about love through Jaemin. His first best friend, first crush, and first heartbreak. Jaemin taught him that hiding things isn’t good for anybody. That no matter what kind of love it was, experiencing love at all, is an amazing thing. And that lastly, when you love someone, their happiness should always come before yours. Jaemins smile was only the brightest it could be when he was in Jeno’s arms, and for once Donghyuck was okay with that, because Jaemins smile was beautiful.

Jaemin taught Donghyuck his first type of love, an unrequited one.


	2. romeo and juliet, but romeo moved on when juliet didn't try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck's second love

“Saw you walk inside a bar  
He said something to make you laugh  
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours  
Yeah, you look happier, you do” 

Donghyuck experienced love for the second at the age of 14, when he fell so deeply that it had him singing ‘Paris In The Rain’ at ungodly hours of the night. 

High school was a bitch and Donghyuck may have only been a freshman, but he could attest to that. Even though he hated school because of the hard classes he decided to take the first marking period, it was his only escape away from home. He was never one to complain because it honestly wasn’t bad compared to most, but between being in the closet because of a homophobic dad, and a cheating mom who expected so much out of him, it could be better. 

He wasn’t in any clubs or after school activities yet, and after he lost all his friends in middle school (which consisted of just Jaemin and Jeno), he gave up on track, feeling too depressed to run. Running used to be his escape when he was younger and had feelings he couldn’t understand. He probably couldn’t run anyways he figured, he was short for his age and out of shape. 

It wasn’t until he met the new transfer student from China, that he found a new escape and a second home. The two hit it off right away, giggling about how they had both painted their jeans with sunflowers on them as an ‘aesthetic’. They were polar opposites but somehow they fit together very well, Renjun being outgoing and artsy and making friends everywhere he went, and Donghyuck being a pessimist that spends any free time he has writing and drawing. 

Renjun asked him out the night of homecoming, making a big scene in front of everyone, to prove just how much he liked younger. Donghyuck said yes of course and had his first kiss during a slow song, freshmen year, homecoming night. Cliche as it sounded, Renjun was his first real love, introducing him to all his friends, pushing him to try out for track, painting with him at three am, and letting him crawl through his bedroom window late at night to escape hearing his mom come home with someone that wasn’t his dad. 

Renjun was the perfect boy in so many ways and Donghyuck somehow found it hard to believe that he actually liked him. He experienced his first panic attack sophomore year of high school. He was the only boy in the grade who still hadn’t hit his growth spurt, until he woke up one day and realized he grew overnight. At first he was excited, running down to his mom to brag and rant that he finally grew like the other kids, she laughed and cooed. 

He was getting dressed to go to school that same morning when a thought occurred to him and he started to spiral down. He was already very insecure in his relationship with Renjun, believing the elder would grow tired of him at some point soon, when he remembers one of the things Renjun said he liked about him. ‘I like that i’m taller than you, cause i can put my head on your shoulder and call you my dumpling’.

He shrunk to his floor and let the irrational thoughts seep into his head, pitying himself over thinking that such a stupid thing would make Renjun break up with him. He hadn’t realized when he started crying and rocking himself in a ball, but he finally broke down and let all his insecurities get the best of him. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that before he felt a gentle hand on his knee, rubbing soothing circles in his skin where the big rip he cut himself showed. It took him another good ten minutes before he looked up with a little sniffle, Renjun was sitting in front of him on his phone. “I can see you staring into my soul, don’t worry I’m just texting my mom to tell her that I’m skipping today and so are you, you’re also gonna sleep over tonight.” Donghyuck nodded and let more tears roll down his face as Renjun pulled him up on his feet and led him outside. 

“My mom will come get us soon and drive us to my house” he said softly while holding Donghyuck’s hand. He was confused to say the least, why Renjun wasn’t asking what happened or comforting him more, letting his insecurities surface for the second time in the last hour. Renjun’s mom pulled up after a couple minutes of silence and they got in, driving to Renjun’s house.

Donghyuck was laying on Renjun’s bed, holding his hello kitty plushie to his chest as he waited. “Okay I have options” he practically yells as he bursts into the room, “netflix and chill just with lots of cuddles instead of being dirty yuck” he made a face of disgust and Donghyuck let a tiny smile crawl onto his face, “painting each other like french girls and pizza” this made Donghyuck actually giggle which in turn made Renjun smile brightly, “ or we could do both of those later and you can talk to me now and get it done and over with.”

Donghyuck went back to frowning and patted the spot on the bed next to him for Renjun to sit. “I know you don’t want to Hyuck, but you had a panic attack, you didn’t even realize i was there for so long because you were so upset. Let me, the number one Donghyuck supporter, help you please?” 

Donghyuck nodded and began spilling on all his insecurities from the past months and how he grew and found it stupid but he didn’t want to be taller then his already very short boyfriend, (Renjun punched his arm at that comment), and about how he didn’t want to lose him because Renjun was his whole world. 

Now they’ve kissed lots of times before, but never to this extent. Renjun leaned in and kissed him softly at first, but what he didn’t expect was when the older boy sucked on his bottom lip lightly, making a gasp leave Donghyuck’s mouth. Renjun kissed him for the next few minutes, stopping every once in a while to leave soft butterfly kisses down his jaw. The younger felt like he was in a euphoric state as Renjun climbed on his lap and intertwined their hands, pulling away to smile at him.

“You are everything to me. Whenever you sleep over and borrow one of my sweaters, you have no idea what it does to me. When you so much as look sad, it breaks my heart. Whenever you wake me up late at night saying you need a place to sleep for the night, with your glasses on and fingernails painted and a hopeful smile, I just know that I’m going to love you forever and ever.” Donghyuck gasps and almost shouts, “You love me?”

Donghyuck loved him too and he told him that as Renjun curled up on his lap while watching we bare bears for the fifth time this month. Later when they were painting together Renjun wrapped his arms around his waist from the back and rested his chin on his shoulder, “You’re still the same Donghyuck, taller or not silly, and you always will be to me.”

Another two years passed with them being an inseparable team, senior year becoming their year. They attended parties and were everyone's favorite couple, they even won prom kings together. Donghyuck was basking in his new found popularity thanks to Renjun and really enjoying himself for once in his life. 

They both applied to the same schools and decided to go to the same school together, strong as ever. Until donghyuck went to a party by himself when Renjun had to work one night. He was dancing with his friend Sehun and a guy approached them both, he automatically assumed he was there to ask Sehun to dance but he grabbed Donghyuck’s wrist and pulled him away from the dance floor. “I’m so sorry for that, but I was trying to talk to you but I don’t think you could hear me over the music” the taller stranger with a husky voice said, way too close to his ear. 

“I’m Jaehyun, Jeno’s older brother, I remember you from when you were so much younger,” he said with a way to eager smile, “Oh, cool, hi.” Donghyuck felt awkward at the thought of talking to someone that Jeno is related with. “I just wanted to ask you to dance, cause you really got pretty, you can say no if you want, don’t worry.” 

Donghyuck felt himself blush at the compliment and gave Jaehyun a small smile. He loved attention and the thought of other people finding him pretty made him happy and overfill with new found confidence. “Uhm I have a boyfriend” Donghyuck said softly, hoping for Jaehyun to still want to be friends. What can he say, the taller boy boosted his confidence. “That’s fine, maybe we can just sit down and talk then? Get to know each other?” Donghyuck nodded enthusiastically and followed him to a table in the kitchen.

Becoming friends with Jaehyun was easy because they were both a little tipsy and he was very easy to talk to. He found out that Jaehyun was a college student and only came here to pick up Jeno but Jeno already left so he decided to stay. He also learned that Jaehyun had the voice of an angel, was fluent in english, and had never been in an actual relationship. Apparently college was the time when couples broke up and you start dating around and having fun, commitments never worked out in college. By the end of the night he felt like he knew more about Jaehyun and college then he knew about himself.

He texted Renjun the next day, asking to meet up. When Renjun walked into his bedroom with a bunch of tacos, fries, and Advil, he felt extremely guilty. Renjun kissed his forehead and fed him a taco before asking what he wanted to talk about. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a little voice was shouting at him that this was a mistake and it's not too late to go back now, if he only calls out for him and begs him to stay, but he ignores it and watches Renjun run out of his room crying and pulling his hair. 

He felt sadness wash over him as he realized he just not only lost his boyfriend of four years, but also his safe place, his best friend, his home. He quickly shook off the feelings in favor of calling Jaehyun, telling him that he's ready to go to college and can’t wait to finally ‘live’. Jaehyun and him hooked up later that night and as Donghyuck let Jaehyun kiss down his neck, he thought back to Renjun and how much he helped him throughout the years. How they were each other's first everythings and how he believed for most of his life they would be each other's last as well.

Donghyuck didn’t see renjun for all of his freshman year at college, not that he really would’ve noticed. He was constantly partying, clubbing, going on dates, eating his weight in takeout, and waking up with hangovers painful enough to keep him out of classes. He’s pretty sure half the clothes he owned weren’t even his and the bleach from dying his hair was seeping into his skull but he didn’t care, too focused on having fun.

Slowly one by one, his hookups stopped calling, his friends got busy and even Jaehyun blocked his number. He wondered if it’s something wrong with him or if they were just finally settling down. Sophomore year was starting and Donghyuck barely noticed the time go by so quickly. He knew that he was doing badly in his classes from last year and there was a good chance he had to retake some of them. He also knew that if he really wanted to graduate in three years and become an author and illustrator, he had to finally start focusing and settling down. 

He finished the last of his burger that he ordered from his favorite bar, he only came to fill out a part time job application, the burger was just a bonus. He was about to leave when he saw in the corner of the bar, under the yellowish lights in a booth, Renjun. He was with another guy and they were laughing and talking admantently with each other. He knew he was staring but he couldn’t help it, he looked amazing. His hair was now a shade of pale pink and he finally got that nose piercing he always wanted. He looked light and happy as he explained something to the other boy, creating motions with his hands in the hair and a silly look on his face. 

Renjun did notice him staring, and he gave Donghyuck a small smile, but genuine, and a little wave. It suddenly felt like he was drowning, like all the pain and heartbreak he was suppressing from the summer before freshman year, broke through. He felt like he was being pulled down by the undertow, while everyone around him was on the sand and doing well. Donghyuck cleared his throat and ran out of the bar, he hadn’t run that fast since high school but he knew he needed to collapse on his bed. 

He lost himself when he met Jaehyun, and it wasn’t even Jaehyuns fault. He let himself get lost at one of the most crucial parts in his life. He got swept up in a crowd of people that didn’t even like him, just to ‘live’. But not only did he lose himself, he lost Renjun. 

His first boyfriend, first kiss, first time, first love, were all Renjun. His best friend when he had no one, his safe haven when Donghyuck’s world was storming, his permanent home, he gave up, for a taste of freedom. Freedom he didn’t even really want, just chose to believe he wanted. He lost maybe the greatest thing on this planet and it was all his fault. He remembers Renjuns face when Donghyuck told him he wanted freedom, he was crying and begging him to change his mind. No one had ever begged or wanted Donghyuck to stay, no one ever truly cared about him. But Renjun was different. Renjun was the first person to give him his whole heart without hesitation. 

Renjun taught him what it felt like to give love and receive love at the same time. He taught him how to open up to the people that cared about him. He taught him how to be happy with himself. And Renjun had a smile on his face when he was on that date with the mystery guy, because he was happier without waiting for Donghyuck to give him a love that Donghyuck wasn’t ready to give. While Donghyuck lost himself, Renjun found himself, expanding his world to more than just loving Donghyuck. But Donghyuck understood, he wouldn’t expect any differently. He treated Renjun horribly when they broke up, without even thinking of it, covering up his thoughts in alcohol. 

But Renjun taught him about his second type of love, a love so deep it consumes you, and makes you want more than what is being offered. 

Renjun was Donghyuck’s second love, and they were written in the stars, but just like Jack and Rose, or Romeo and Juliet, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave comments and kudos!!! they make mui very happieeee <3333


	3. the bigger the muscle, the bigger the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An old presence is never unwelcomed.

“Sat on the corner of the room  
Everything's reminding me of you  
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier  
Aren't you?” 

‘Making yourself a priority is never selfish, It’s smart, because when you make yourself come first, you tend to treat others the same way that you're treating yourself.’ Renjun had told him that when they were younger. 

So that’s what he did for the rest of his college experience. He raised his grades and graduated with a smile on his face. He didn't let anyone come in the way of him and his dream for writing and illustrating. He spent hours studying alone in his dorm, worked one am shifts at the bar to save up for whatever comes after college, and stopped partying. 

He only saw Renjun once after the bar incident, but even then, he cried until he passed out at seeing the old center of his universe. He was just as gorgeous, but Donghyuck tried not to focus on him or think about him, as it only allowed for negative thoughts. The Donghyuck and Renjun that once painted together at two am and danced around their living rooms to old Justin Bieber songs, didn’t exist anymore. It wasn’t Donghyuck and Renjun anymore, it was Donghyuck and then Renjun, and that was something he was still trying to comprehend and get used to.

He graduated being one of the top of his class and got a paying internship opportunity at a local publishing company. He took it right away and got another side job as a waiter to help pay for rent at his new apartment. He drowned himself in his internship and work, barely having any free time to write or go out, not that he minded. Four years of college spent alone made him prepared for the constant feeling of loneliness that followed him around everywhere. 

He was twenty-four when he got a permanent job at the company and finally had time to write and draw as a signed member of the writing team. Deciding to celebrate and finally go out and quit his second job was a relief to him, he had worked so hard he forgot what it felt like to get over six hours of sleep at night. He seated himself on a stool right next to the bar counter, he wanted to remember that fleeting feeling of freedom one last time before he drowned himself in his writing. 

He watched people eat and drink and laugh and he smiled, remembering how it felt to have friends and lovers and just dance until he couldn’t feel his feet. He probably looked very depressed and lonely as a much taller boy approached him, sitting next to him and ordering a beer. “Yanno for someone who looks like they came her to drink their sorrow away, you’re not doing a very good job” he said, and Donghyuck recognized that voice right away. 

“Yukhei?” He asked as he turned to the older boy and smiled. Yukhei was a friend of his in high school, the one person he was close to aside from Renjun. He doesn’t remember why he and Yukhei stopped talking but he assumes it had to do with Yukhei going to college a year before Donghyuck and being too busy to spend time on a high schooler. “Jesus It’s been awhile.”

“For you maybe, you look like you’ve been through hell and back, what’s up man? Where’s Renjun?” Donghyuck laughed dryly and played with the food sitting in front of him, “Broke up after high school, haven’t seen him since” it wasn’t a lie. Yukhei nodded and smiled, “Remember when you swore to me that you were gonna marry him?” 

“Things change I guess, but I’m glad you’re here. I always wanted to talk to you in high school about this but just never got the chance I got.” Donghyuck nodded and watched as Yukhei broke into a huge grin, “You still want to be a writer right?” He nodded and Yukhei laughed as his eyes grew bigger. “Well I’m actually currently located in Seoul, working for The Seoul Publishing Studio, and I’m just here to scout new writers and talent.” Donghyuck almost shrieked as Yukhei continued, “And finding you was easier than I thought-”

The smaller grabbed Yukhei by his shoulders and shook him, “Are you offering me a job or not?” Yukhei laughed and nodded and Donghyuck threw himself into a hug with the taller boy. “How can you even be able to do this, I don’t have any works published yet?” Yukhei only shrugged and hugged him back, “I’m a higher up and they really like me there, that and maybe I bragged about you for a year straight.” He pulled back and wiped the tears from his eyes, he leaned up and planted a kiss on Yukhei’s cheek, “Thank you so fucking much.”

Yukhei walked Donghyuck back to his place and he invited him in, making them both eggs, “God your apartment is tiny, kinda fits huh? Cause you’re so tiny.” Donghyuck whacked his arm and earned a sound of protest from him. “I’m staying here with you until you get all packed and shit, and then until you find your own place, you can stay with me and my roommate Mark. He doesn’t really like me or talk much so don’t be surprised if he ignores you by the way.” Donghyuck nodded, “Do you want to stay here or do you have a hotel?” 

Yukhei settled in that night, taking Donghyuck’s bed while Donghyuck called his boss to quit for the second time that night. When he finished, he walked into his room to see Yukhei waiting for him and he couldn’t help but cry, remembering high school. Yukhei and him used to cuddle at sleepovers while talking about Renjun. Donghyuck hasn’t had actual friends in years, let alone someone that knew him as well as Yukhei did. Donghyuck threw himself on top of Yukhei as the memories started to seep back in and all he could think about was ‘Renjun Renjun Renjun’, Yukhei accepted him with open arms and cuddled him closely, “There there little bear, I’m here now and I’m not leaving again I promise, talk to don’t, just know I’m here.” 

Yukhei spent the next day packing and talking and crying and laughing and everything in between. Donghyuck received more hugs that day then he did all throughout college. He not only missed his youth, regretted his mistakes from his past, and was lonely every day, but he started regaining his insecurities. But Yukhei was there now, and he knew him, he was there to help and give him opportunities he couldn't get on his own. 

He was going to try and be happier, just like Jaemin, like Renjun, like Jaehyun, and especially like Yukhei.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments pls <3333


	4. maybe if you knew chinese, we could've had more time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck experiences his third love

“But I guess you look happier, you do  
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too  
I could try to smile to hide the truth  
I know I was happier with you” 

The third time Donghyuck fell in love was the most dangerous. Because when there's a world filled with 7 billion people, it’s inevitable that not all of them can be perfect.

Donghyuck met Mark when he was twenty-nine. Yukhei and him flew over to Seoul and he helped him unpack in Yukhei’s room. Yukhei and him were about to go sightseeing when Mark walked into the kitchen to make some food for himself. He looked at both of them, nodded, and went back into his room. Yukhei only shrugged and dragged Hyuck out but the younger was seething.

It went on like that for three or four months until Donghyuck finally had enough to move out and started looking for his own place. He was looking for apartment listings on his computer while Yukhei was out with a friend of his, when Mark walked up to him. “I heard you speaking Korean over the phone earlier.”

Confused, Donghyuck nods and taps on his phone, “It’s almost like we're in Korea and people here speak Korean.” And Donghyuck doesn’t think he’s ever seen Mark smile but oh, he actually laughed at Donghyuck being sarcastic and he doesn’t think he ever wants to make Mark stop laughing. Mark sat down next to him on the stool and began talking. “Yukhei only ever speaks either Cantonese or Mandarin, like even when he interviewed me for this apartment, and i know very little Mandarin, so I honestly don’t know how I got to move in here, but does Yukhei speak Korean?”

Donghyuck laughed and nodded, “He grew up here of course he speaks Korean, how could you not know that? I know that sometimes we speak to each other in Cantonese, but it’s very rare, my knowledge is only what Yukhei taught me in high school.” Mark looks so relieved and actually lets out a breath. “Thank god, I didn’t know how long I could go pretending I was just too uninterested to care, like I just didn’t know what he was saying to me at all!” 

They ended up laughing and talking to each other for hours, Donghyuck long forgetting his apartment hunt. When the oldest of the three got back, Mark explained in korean and they ended up staying up late in the night, all getting to know each other. 

Donghyuck finally moved into his own apartment about six months after being in Seoul, boys were reluctant to let him move out. Not even a month past when Mark showed up at his door asking if they could go on a date. Donghyuck agreed and Mark took him to an art museum, dinner, and walked him back. 

Announcing to Yukhei that they were dating was the hard part as Yukhei was very protective over Donghyuck when it came to love, knowing what he’s been through. But surprising the older was all for it, hugging them both like they told him they were engaged. 

Mark became a part of Donghyuck’s world almost as fast as the news that broke his heart came to him. He was now a regular presence at Donghyuck's place, lounging on his couch while Donghyuck answered the phone call from his doctor. He thought maybe his anemia had come back a couple weeks ago because of the headaches and weakness he would sometimes feel, but then little bruises started to show up everywhere and he was positive it was back. 

Mark insisted on going with him to his appointment but he rejected, telling him he should be at work instead of eating all Donghyuck’s food. When they told him he didn’t have anemia, he was relieved but it only lasted a second before he felt himself grow panicked. Hearing the word cancer get thrown around by his doctor and a bunch of stuff about his blood cells didn’t surprise Donghyuck. His mom had cancer when he was in college, she overcame it, but the doctor then had something along the lines of ‘rare, but not impossible to be genetic.’ He was sent to get meds and told him that it was small right now so there was still a good chance he could overcome it without needing chemo. He tried to remember the rest of the day, but it was a blur, as he sat there and zoned off, remembering what his mom went through. 

Mark stopped by after work which gave Donghyuck barely any time to try and act natural. Lying to mark was easy, telling him it was just anemia and that he would be fine, the hard part was lying to himself. Telling himself that he’ll be okay enough where he will never need to tell Mark. He knew how bad this could get and tried not to dwell on it. 

But Donghyuck had never had any luck. Sneaking away once a week to go to the hospital was starting to worry Mark, as he didn’t know where the younger was going. And the meds didn’t help, instead the cancer just grew inside him. 

After a visit to the hospital telling him that he’d need to start chemo soon and that moving to the hospital permanently would be helpful, to monitor his progress easier, he walked home. The first thing he notices when he walks in are Mark’s shoes. “Baby, what're you doing here?”Donghyuck called out to him as he walked into the living room where his boyfriend was sitting down. 

“When you left this morning saying you were late for work I called Yukhei. He told me you didn’t even come in today, he even tried to call you. So I went to follow you, to see where you were going but then I stopped. Cause I’m not that type of person, and if you tell me that you’re not cheating on me, I’ll believe you. So please tell me it’s not true.” Mark looked so stressed and sad and it broke Donghyuck’s heart. 

While he may have been a dick in the past, he would never cheat on anyone in a million years, and his friends and family know that. So when Yukhei came over to his house a couple hours later he wasn’t surprised. “Uhm what the fuck? Why would you tell Mark you’re cheating on him? I know you’re not, so don’t give me any bullshit. Dude he looked so fucking hurt, if you wanted to break up with him you could’ve just told him honestly and he would’ve understood. He loved you so much for fucks sake so why would you even want to break up with him?” 

Yukhei was ranting until he saw that Donghyuck was paying no attention, eyes on a crumpled piece of paper on the table. Yukhei grabbed it before Hyuck could protest and began to read, Donghyuck trying to stop him. When he finished reading the whole thing Yukhei sighed and embraced him in a hug, “I’m so sorry love.” Donghyuck cried in his arms, spewing things like, ‘I was finally doing okay’ and ‘telling him the truth would only hurt him more’. 

Yukhei never left his side, even slept in his uncomfortable jeans just so that Hyuck wouldn’t wake up if Yukhei went to change, when the younger fell asleep. 

“I love you Hyuck, I got you this time” 

Donghyuck learned about his third type of love through Mark. A love based on selfishness and giving. A love where everything feels right but to never let your guard down, cause love can always turn sour. A love where sometimes it’s easier to lie to people and hurt them, then to tell them the truth.

Mark was Donghyuck’s third love, and while time may not have been on their side, he was very happy to have been able to get to know the Canadian publisher that was utterly whipped for him, as Yukhei liked to say. And falling in love with Mark was easy, which made Donghyuck have hope, that everything else in life could be just as easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos plssss <33333333


	5. i could write one long ass wattpad fanfic about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> donghyuck meets an old friend again (?)

“Cause baby you look happier, you do  
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too  
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth  
But I know I was happier with you”

When Donghyuck arrived at the hospital and settled in with Yukhei by his side, he let the older man wander off to find his doctor. It only took Yukhei five minutes before he was storming in his room with a big goofy smile going, “Look who I found!” he said in a big booming voice as he pulled someone in the room. 

Na Jaemin let himself get pulled in by Yukhei, laughing, as he waved at Donghyuck, “Hey Hyuck!” Donghyuck bounced out of bed and leapt into Jaemin’s arms, “Oh my god it’s been forever, what are you doing here, are you okay?” the smaller rushed out. Jaemin laughed again and hugged him back, “Well I’m actually your doctor!” Donghyuck’s jaw dropped as he pulled back and hid behind Yukhei. 

“If this is a set up to kill me for what I said when I was in middle school I just wanna let you know i didn’t mean it, and i can promise you that cause I’m gay as fuck. Besides the cancers gonna kill me anyways so there's no use in getting me back now.” Jaemin rolled his eyes and grabbed Donghyuck’s arm to pull him away from the tall man. “First of all, stop thinking like that” he said as he flicked donghyuck’s head, “You are not gonna die because I’m your doctor and you know I’ll do anything in my power to make you okay again. Second, I’m not holding a petty grudge against you stupid, we were in middle school, were thirty now. And lastly, I’m pretty sure I know you’re gay now, you and Renjun were /the/ couple in high school.”

Donghyuck giggled and hugged Jaemin again, “I’m still sorry yanno.” Jaemin nodded while wrapping his arms around him, “Yeah I know.” 

Donghyuck’s first month at the hospital was painful for everyone including Donghyuck. The boy dropped weight, lost hair, and cried almost everyday. But Jaemin always brought him ice cream when he was crying, and held his hand and told him funny stories about his cats at home when he was in pain. Yukhei would stop by almost everyday and Jaemin asked if they were dating, he had to tell him that ‘no, he’s like my big brother.’ With Jaemin asking, ‘Well do you have anybody then?’ And Donghyuck frowned, shaking his head, realizing that he missed Mark a lot. He missed the way Jaemin nodded with a smile on his face and walked away. 

He was one of the lucky ones though, as he got better fast. The meds worked and helped him to beat cancer. During his last week in the hospital, finally being cleared after a month, Jaemin and him exchanged phone numbers. Jaemin texting him every time he left the hospital, called him every time he went out to get them food, and played sims with him when he was bored. 

Donghyuck’s last day in the hospital came quickly and all his doctors, Jaemin included, and Yukhei, threw him a party. They got pizza and sodas and all the foods he missed dearly. Some of Donghyuck’s friends from work showed up and welcomed him back. And even though it only lasted an hour, he had fun, finally feeling healthy and safe again.

Before he left though, Jaemin pulled him aside to talk. “I told you that I’d make sure you’d be okay.” Donghyuck smiled and hugged the younger, “Thank you for not only saving me, but being my friend, let’s not lose touch.” He tried to pull back but Jaemin pulled him closer, “I think I’m in love with you.” He whispered while laughing softly. 

“Oh” He let out. Jaemin pulled away quickly and reached out for Donghyuck’s hands. “I’m not stupid enough to think you’re interested in me, I can tell theirs someone else. But all I’m asking for is a chance, just go out with me once. One date!” Donghyuck chuckled at the doctor and patted his hair, “Can I think about it? There is someone else and I deserve to give them answers and I'm hoping for a good outcome but it probably won’t happen. I used to like you when we were like 10 by the way, and I’d be an idiot not to like you now, but I definitely need to think some things over first.”

Jaemin nodded and told him he’d call him later that night, watching as Donghyuck left the hospital with Yukhei. 

When they finally arrived back at Yukheis, he made them wait outside for a minute before going on. “Where's Mark? His car’s not in the driveway?” He asked calmly, trying not to show his anxiety of seeing his ex again. 

“He left.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave kudos and comments


	6. my life is straight out of a twilight book

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyuck lets go

“Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you  
But ain't nobody need you like I do  
I know that there's others that deserve you  
But my darling, I am still in love with you” 

Donghyuck kept active and busy for a month to try and stop himself from thinking about Mark. Yukhei would take him out sometimes and on rare occasions he would bring lunch to the hospital for Jaemin. Both of them noticed the changes in him, without Mark before he was lost and wallowing in self pity, but he was starting to be okay again. He still asked Johnny for updates on Mark occasionally but for the most part he was trying to be okay on his own. 

He even went to a movie night with Johnny and some of his friends a couple months later. Drinking beer and eating pizza like they were all a bunch of college kids again. Him and Yukhei were half way through telling them a story about their high school days when Johnny dropped his phone on the ground. "Johnny you big doofus, stop making so much noise, Yukhei was just getting to the funny part" Donghyuck giggled. 

"Uh Hyuck, you and Yukhei should leave! Like right now actually!" Johnny rushed over to them and pulled them both up off his couch by their sleeves, "It was great seeing you guys, let's do this again sometime!" Donghyuck and Yukhei looked at each other and back at Johnny before shrugging and grabbing their things to leave. "Johnny you're so weird, bye guys! It was nice meeting some of you, not you Jae, I can see you staring at my ass!" He giggled on the tipsy side as Yukhei grabbed his waist and pulled him towards the door. But before he could leave the door opened from the outside and they took a step fuck. 

"Fuck!" Johnny yelled as one Mark Lee walked in alongside a smaller boy that if Donghyuck was looking would've recognized but all he could do was stare at Mark. "Hi." Mark stared at him and frowned, "Oh hi. What are you doing here at Johnny's place?" He asked as he looked away at his old friends on the couch. 

"Uh I invited him and Yukhei over for a movie night with the guys, you should've told me before that you were coming back tonight, I would've cancelled or rescheduled." Johnny said looking concerned as he looked between the two boys. "Well we were just leaving anyways." Yukhei smiled at Mark and grabbed Hyuck's hand, leading him out into the hallway. "I'll call you sometime this week Mark." And with that Yukhei pulled Hyuck away from Johnny's place and that horrible situation. 

"Why didn't I know he was coming back? Everyone seems to know except me, and Renjun!? He came back with Renjun? How did that even happen what? Are they together? I barely even recognized him!?" Donghyuck barked out at Yukhei as they reached his apartment. He heard the older sigh and felt him wrap his arms around his waist. "Calm down Hyuck and me and I'll explain everything, so will Johnny when he's free. We weren't keeping anything from you I promise, well except the Renjun thing. But to be fair, we don't know if they're dating or not. They didn't really tell us much." 

Donghyuck nodded and pulled away, grabbing a water from the fridge, "He looks good." He whispered to himself. Yukhei nodded and then paused, "Wait which one?" Donghyuck laughed and responded with a soft 'both'. "Thanks for being here for me Yuk, I know I'm kind of a mess and that I screw over every single person I love but you've always been here for me so thank you. I love you.." 

"You can cry if you want to Hyuck, I know you love him still, it's okay!" Hyuck nodded as he broke down on the kitchen floor, "C'mere."

"You loved a lot Hyuck, and you've lost just as much, but you're never alone I promise."


End file.
